Monday
May072018

Blog 102

I am thinking about bringing my output right into the early 2000s and I’m going to start doing a podcast!   It will be later in the year via BBC Studios.  As some of you may know one of my hobbies is spending time trying to work my way through a book called “Time Out 100 Best Cheap Eats”.  My plan has been to eat at every restaurant in that book and when I have dined at one I cross it out then never eat there again (which is usually a good idea because a lot of these restaurants aren’t that great).  This task is complicated by the fact that in the five years since the book was published quite a few of the eateries listed are not now in business and also because also I keep going to places that are not in my book.   Anyway I thought I might move things along by calling my podcast something like “Budget Dining With Alexei Sayle”.  For  each show I will dine at a budget restaurant with a comedian, a world leader or a Premier League Footballer and record what happens.  If nothing else I’ll get a free meal out of it.

 

Blog 102a

Hi Ferdinand.  Yes I’m doing Museum of Comedy on the 23rd & 24th of this month and a benefit for Gaza this Friday STAND-UP FOR GAZA

Comedy benefit with Sara Pascoe, Alexei Sayle, Francesca Martinez, Jeremy Hardy plus Ian Saville as compere. In aid of Palestine Trauma Centre (Gaza). Tickets £17.50 / £14 conc. from www.wegottickets.com/event/435208.

And yes I did speak at the Marc Wadsworth meeting.  His expulsion from the Labour Party is something I feel very strongly about and this is the statement I issued.  I stand with Marc Wadsworth.     The Labour Party has - on the flimsiest of pretexts - expelled him from the Labour Party.    Marc is a veteran activist and anti-racist campaigner.  He contributed to the Party through the Black Sections, co-founded the Anti-Racist Alliance, fought against the National Front and the BNP, was a leading supporter of the Stephen Lawrence Campaign  : the list of his achievements in the field of fighting for racial equality and justice goes on and on.  And this is the man the Labour Party dares to say has “brought the party into disrepute”!

The Party should walk over broken glass to beg people of Marc’s calibre to work with them - they are very few and Marc is one of the best.    

There is a battle going on to destroy and reverse the unexpected and amazing gains the  left has made in the last three years. Mark is a casualty in that battle and I am joining the fight to see him re-instated to the front line.

I never believed we would see the prospect of a socialist Labour Party taking power in this country and the right ,with their allies in the Israel Lobby, is doing everything it can to stop that.  Marc has been victimised by them and that can't be allowed to stand.  Everyone on the Left - whether  in or out of the Labour Party - needs to back Marc in this struggle.

Thank God I'm not in the Labour Party so I can say that all the Ruth Smeeths and Wes Streetings who are trying to destroy the prospect of a Socialist Labour Party taking power in Britain can fucking fuck off, I'm backing Marc Wadsworth!

 

Friday
Feb092018

Blog 101

Hello everybody sorry I haven’t posted for a while but I’ve been taking some time off so I’ve had nothing to say.

However I am performing at the Glasgow comedy festival on the 19th of March and in preparation I’m doing some work in progress gigs at the Museum of Comedy 13th-17th March.  Come along.

Also Imaginary Sandwich Bar has been nominated for Best Radio Comedy at the Chortle Awards 2018, it won’t win, some arsehole with a huge online presence will win but Vote For Me anyway!

 

Blog 101a

 

The Palestinian-led movement for Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize!

Bjørnar Moxnes, the Norwegian Member of Parliament who formally made the nomination, said:

“Awarding this year’s Nobel Peace Prize to the BDS movement would be a powerful signal, emphasising the international community’s commitment to support a just peace for the Palestinian people... the Israeli people and all people in the Middle East – and the world at large.”

In partnership with Jewish Voice for Peace, Palestinian Solidarity is launching a petition seeking 15,000 signatures urging the Nobel Committee to grant the Peace Prize to the BDS movement.

BDS stands in the same proud tradition of nonviolent resistance as the Montgomery bus boycotts, the United Farm Workers grape boycott, the boycott against South African apartheid, Gandhi’s boycott of British goods, etc. 

Sign the petition and tell the Nobel Committee: the movement for Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions deserves recognition— because Palestinians deserve to be free.

Today— as was the case with all those other boycotts, in their time— not everyone sees BDS for the principled movement that it is. Every day, BDS activists are attacked by those devoted to defending Israel’s apartheid system. 

The Nobel Committee will publish a shortlist of nominees by the end of September. We need to lift our collective voice as high as we can today, and seize this opportunity to take a meaningful step towards justice.

Thursday
Oct192017

Blog 100

What better way to fill Blog 100 than to answer some of your questions.  With regard to a third volume of memoir it’s sort of up in the air.  My original contract with Bloomsbury is a volume of memoir followed by a volume of fiction.  There is some possibility that they would take another volume of memoir instead but I’m not sure what I want to do, if I could think of the right thing I’d really love to write some more fiction, I think the longer I spend not writing fiction the harder it will be to get back to it.

Yes Sandwich Bar book!  Ideal Christmas present and new series begins transmission on Nov 9th at 6.30 0n R4.  And good guess, it was Pauline Melville in the voodoo doll story.

I was as shocked as anybody to hear about the death of Sean Hughes.  I didn’t know him well but when I met Sean there always seemed some sadness that hung over him.  I’m sure he had other problems but there appeared to me to be a gap between what he thought his talent warranted and the critical and public acclaim that he received.  Regardless of how talented he was this is inevitably a recipe for unhappiness.  It is no accident that Alcoholics Anonymous has a saying, that you can’t control- “People Places, Things”.  You can either accept this or you can do what I do which is to think that there is a huge gap between what my talent warrants and the critical and public acclaim that I receive but to see that gap as further proof of my genius.

 

Blog 100a

 

Here's a thing I'm doing. 

http://www.thewordfactory.tv/site/citizen-festival/ [1]

 

HOT OFF THE PRESS : AN EVENING WITH ALEXEI SAYLE & CHRISTINA LAMB

WORD FACTORY PRESENTS: Citizen: The New Story Festival - Event #2 Hot Off The Press : An Evening with Alexei Sayle and Christina Lamb...

 

Blog 100b

Since you ask the whole story of the appearance-disappearance-re-appearance of Wilf Mbanga (the cat) is featured in ep 4 of Sandwich Bar which txs 30th Nov.

Monday
Sep252017

Blog 99

Hi everybody, it’s been a while.  So I did five nights at Soho theatre of my new standup show then ten nights at Edinburgh and that all went very well.  Especially since the room I was playing was a really difficult space.  Now we are thinking about how I can do more perormances both in London and around the country, I don’t have an answer yet but we’re working on it.

The Sandwich Bar Book is mostly the scripts from series one with a few new bits specially written I’ve thrown in and some illustrations.  It’s a nice little book.

Series 2 of Sandwich Bar starts recording on Sept 30th.  I think all the tickets are well over booked but I guess there may be returns I don’t know how the BBC works it.  I’ve recorded two new songs for the show written and produced by Tim Sutton and they are both magnificent, particularly the Jaques Brel style one.

Russell I don’t think I had anything against Frank Skinner when I wrote that bit in Overtaken it was just he seemed to be the comedian those people would be going to see at that time.  Also one radio show I always try and listen to is Frank’s show on Absolute radio on a Saturday morning and I like his side kicks too Emily Dean and Alan Cochrane.

Blog 99a

I didn't notice this at the time but somebody pointed it out to me last week from an article written by Sir Chris Hoy in GQ magazine-"It might seem ludicrously simple, but the obvious answer to what to wear on your bike is whatever that helps you enjoy cycling. Of course, the reality is a little more complicated, especially for us Brits. If you look at nations where cycling has been popular for years, such as Denmark,

Holland and Germany, it really isn't an issue. And yet in the UK, we are still in that awkward phase of finding ourselves in an unfamiliar situation and feeling uncomfortable. So we overthink things and end up assuming to ride a bike in any way seriously you need to be wearing a full Team Sky racing kit. Of course, that it makes most cyclists look as ridiculous as an overweight football fan wearing the shirt of his favourite club for a pub five-a-side game. Hence the popularity of the famous acronyms of Manil ("middleaged men in Lycra"), and the less well known but much funnier Puffin (comedian Alexei Sayle's "pathetic unfit fat f***ers in nappies")."

Blog 99b

Hello everybody I'm filling in for Jarvis Cocker this Sunday on 6 Music.  4p.m.  Don't pretend you didn't know.


Sunday
Jun252017

Blog 98

A while ago I wrote about how I used to think there was some force in the universe which meant that anybody who crossed me would suffer.  I mentioned the woman who was rude to me on BBC1s Pebble Mill At One and how the last I’d heard of her she’d just had her show cancelled on Radio Devon.    I also said the only place that seemed immune to the force in the universe that avenged me was a sandwich bar in Southwark London that had been converted to a cafe from a toilet and I mused that the people who own this ex-toilet cafe are in touch with more powerful darker forces that me.

Then during the last murderous Israeli assault on Gaza I fell out badly with a pro Israeli woman on the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2  who threatened to sue me for libel because she was losing the argument and how her career rather than foundering seemed to be on the up and up.    That woman, I can now reveal, was the now notorious Emma Barnett (from her aggressive Jeremy Corbyn Woman’s Hour interview.)    After looking into it I think I’ve figured out how Emma Barnett came to be in touch with such powerful dark forces.  One of the strongest impulses I have to fight against when I am on holiday abroad is the urge to seek out the “authentic” the “real” the “true”.  These days I accept that I am just a tourist, I do touristy things and go to touristy places but I can’t remember how many lunchtimes I’ve ruined in the past, forcing Linda to walk down increasingly seedy backstreets in Marseilles or Amman under the hot midday sun searching for the “genuine fishermen’s restaurant where the sardine trawlermen eat” or “that really authentic roadside falafel shack where the camel herders have their lunch.”  The best place I usually find is “the bar where the drunks with the terrible weeping head wounds go to start a fight.”

But the search for the authentic, the truthful can lead to even greater danger than just a dodgy lunch.  A friend of mine, an author was once attending a conference for Commonwealth writers held on a Carribean island.  On the last day of her stay she went down to the harbour side market looking for souvenirs to take back to the UK and on one stall she noticed “voodoo” dolls for sale.   On this particular island the practice of magic, of spells and malign curses developed among African slaves was known not as “Voodoo” but “Obeah”.  My friend was of mixed race and her father had actually been born on a nearby island so something told her that these particular dolls while gaudy and colourful and seemingly folklore-ique were not true Obeah.  She said to the native woman attending the stall. “ I’d really like to buy something but I’m not interested in these dolls here that you sell to the cruise ship tourists.  I want you to show me the proper ones.”

“These are the proper ones.”  The woman replied testily.

Switching to Patois my friend said.  “Look I know these are not the authentic Obeah dolls.  Show me the proper ones.”

“Darlin’ you don’t want to see the proper ones.”  The woman answered in a serious tone.

“”Yes I do.”  My friend stubbornly replied.

Reluctantly reaching beneath the counter the woman brought out a figure, a monochromatic doll in vaguely human shape, quite large and made from twigs, string, cloth and other more indeterminate, possibly fleshy scraps of matter.  This figurine gave off such a smokey aura of pure malevolence and evil that my friend immediately screamed and ran away from the market.

Unfortunately by demanding to see the Obeah doll a contract had been entered into and when she returned to London my friend discovered to her horror that the evil figure had somehow found its way into her luggage.  Luckily for her the doll wasn’t interested in my friend and instead it jumped up and ran off to make it’s own way in the world.  The name of that doll is Emma Barnett. That’s the only explanation I can think of for her success.

Blog 98a

I noticed Emma Barnett was presenting Newsnight, I think it was last week.  Funny how the MSM didn't point out that the presenter of this show was a doll made of rags, twigs and animal parts.  Sad!