Blog No. 24
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 7:33PM
Yes I wonder if all the hate mail isn't that man who doesn’t like me,
talking to himself. After all who could not like me? Who could not be
smitten by my goodness? it’s literally unbelievable.
Years ago I had a column in the London listings magazine Time Out that I
wrote with my friend David Stafford. Time Out didn’t get many letters
back then and would print almost anything, so one week David wrote a
letter under an assumed name saying how great our column was and they
included it. But the thing was that even though I knew my partner had
written the letter I still felt really pleased and thrilled to see it in
the magazine and I basked in the praise. However in the interests of
fairness we decided we needed some balance so the next week I wrote a
letter under another assumed name saying what a talentless bastard I was
and they printed that too. On this occasion when I saw my own letter I
was really upset at its vindictive and unpleasant tone and found myself
thinking that if the letter writer only knew me they’d be unable to write
such hurtful things.
Then I told the editor what we’d been doing, thinking he’d find it funny
but he wasn’t at all amusing and a little while later we got fired.
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Reader Comments (42)
Alexei, you can only ignore it, it's got nothing to do with you. In Holland, writers, entertainers, journalists and politicians get terrible hatemail in huge numbers when they make an unfavourable comment about politician Geert Wilders or a comment that sounds like they could be critical of mr. Wilders. You probably don't even know this politician and yet I'm sure if his followers found this blog, they'd attack you for what you've written so far.
I know this doesn't help but perhaps you can breathe a sigh of relief that you're in London and not here in Amsterdam.
I think you are lovely. But I may be you, so does this praise mean anything?
...all the hate mail ...?
Luxury! In my day they used to rats tail you with your own towel followed by chinese burns then give you dead legs and bumps in a puddle then overnight tie you to a crucifix. if you were lucky! And that was the parents.
Seriously who are the hate figures these days? Bankers? MPs? Afghans at a wedding party [they get bombed a lot] and so why Alexei Sayle? I suppose you might be mistaken for an afghani ? If the cap [or baggy trousers] fits?
We are all actors on a stage although most of us don't have an equity card or any professional training.
...wow.... I go away on a nice litle seafront holiday for me 9-year anniversary and come back to be called a 'tosser' (not directly of course) for following the career of Mr. Sayle! Man, I must be an even bigger tosser as I run the fan page! I mght need those mittens?!?!? I have to laugh that people spend their time writing these things, you now what they say. The only thing worse than being talked about....Enjoy Sefton Mr. Sayle, I've a good friend who'll be here :)
And don't worry, we all luv ya'!
Jay, most probably the biggest, saddest Saylite outside the bloodline...!
Count your blessings. It could be worse. You could be Ben Elton.
Hope they don't put you off keeping your blog, I like it here.
I bought Mister Robberts the y'day, must get round to reading it at some point, although I've got 2 on the go already, oh, and not to mention the 3 on my desk at work-
I mentioned to a bloke at work that I'd watched 'A Bridge too far' and quite enjoyed it. So when I came in this morning I had 3 fat books on my desk (Bridge too far, Longest day and some other one), so I'll have to get through those first. Yay! Or just pretend I read them. he he.
When knowing how to deal with hecklers, I recommend reading lines from great wits of our time, like Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw or Winston Churchill. Some forthright expression that succinctly brings across a witty reposte.
I remember reading how Winston Churchill had annoyed some woman at a dinner party one evening and later she said to him: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee!" to which Winston replied " Madam, if you don't like it, you can shove it up your arse, bitch!"
^ Or when Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger got asked a tough question once by a politician and he couldn't answer properly so he just said: "Wow, if you were in my constituency you'd be terminated by now!"
i'd say poor paddy loathes himself - not you alexei!
Did I miss something?
Oh wow! I did miss something! That fella has some time on his hands! He couldn't get his letters printed in the paper? Too mad for print?
Hi Alexei
I know you have a keen interest in fireamrs or firearms. I thought you might like to see this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzRF-5IWrm0
It's a commercial for a computer server back-up service.
They have a few guns.
@Nit Picking: they practise (...) on a server, but why? Still, it's nicer than how the Russians trained the German RAF-members to use rocket propelled granates: they had to fire at a Merc with a dog in the driver's seat.
I've loved and enjoyed David Stafford's work over the years. You may not know that he's also a noted philanthropist who has founded innumerable orphanages and medical facilities all over the world, although his modesty about such projects is a legendary as his enviable skills as a violinist. He can pick up a pencil with his toes, but, perhaps significantly, has no navel.
what could be worse than being Alexei Sayle? Being the person who's cold called again by a fake Russian named Vladimir who tries out his new chat up lines in new wave cyrillic while spanking the monkey..."How's about you suck my sock."
Loving Mr. Staffords post....! Hey, i was going to name my son (if I have one) Alexei. middle name of course....if anyone likes very dull liks, could do worse than to watch mine and my friends attempts at comedy..... wwww.youtube.com/workintitle.
unless you're all washing your hair. Please note comments aren't allowed, providing my own spin by only aproving self-written comments!
Dear Alexei, a liitle late but I must offer the highest of praise and congratulations for displaying the courage of your convictions when taking part as a member of Q & A during your sojourn to Australia.
It was obvious your intellect, knowledge and philosophy outshone the mediocrity of those inhabitating the panel of presenters. I observed your subtle disinterest with some humour.
It is unfortunate that the majority of humans on this Planet still mentatly reside in the 'Dark Ages' with their fears, insecurities, greed, self interest and brainwashed addictive behavours. This will not change in our lifetime as 'Man' is still far too close to his ancestry.
The exceptions are those who, like you, stand apart in some way with a greater awareness and a uniquely wider perspective on our existence, attempting to awaken intelligent thought. Alas, as long as an individual believes a 'God' of some description will save them, there is little hope.
WA Adelaide.
I apologise for the furore, I happened across this site by accident and vented my feelings without thought. You all obviously love Alexei and, in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. I will leave you all alone to crack on sucking up to the "Big Man" as some of you call him.
Love Light and Peace
paddy
Yess I agree, leave them to sucking his rotten bones till they stink of gums and dry mucus chunks.
Paaaaaaddy, Leeeeeon.....Paaaady.....Leeeeeon....did Alexei once ignore you both at a book signing? Did you both cry desperately when you realised there were no copies of Hello john left on 12" when you were little, so you had to buy Marilyn? These posts resonate extraordinarily like two grown men who, as children, hero-worshipped this man only to be let down.
Do you write this vitriol whilst in your chip-fat stained underwear wth a huge stretch-marked gut hanging onto the keyboard and fresh tears in your eyes as the agony hits again and again with the undoubted understanding that nobody ever loved you, and that nobody ever will?
We'll love you. If you open your minds.
We all float down here gentlemen. We all float....whilst you gentlemen....will sink and sink......who'll be queuing to buy your memoirs, who shall be making documentaries about your contributions to comedy, to charities, to literature?....We do not worship Alexei Sayle. We enjoy him, we like his comedy, his books, his stands for things he sees are right....who do you worship? Rooney? Beckham, Jordan?....i muchly doubt it would be anyone who possesses a brain-cell....
Good day to you Sirs.
And do not darken this message board again.
You do not have the bus fare.
- Cue - more rants from these deluded individuals as they struggle to comprehend their own stupidity and base intellect. Alas, I have endeavoured, and can do no more.
Mr. Doom.
BITTER PEOPLE NEVER PROSPER