Blog No. 25
Friday, November 27, 2009 at 2:37AM Last Thursday I got to do something I never thought I’d ever do, I got to
play Santa! A friend rang me up earlier in the week and said that all the
money from the Santa Grotto in the General Trading Company Store in Sloane
Square would be going to the children’s charity Kids Company and could I
come and do the first few hours. I’ve always admired the work of Camila
Batmanghelidjh and Kids Company, her ideas about treating disturbed
youngsters with unjudgemental, relentless, tough love ties in with many
of the things I’ve come to believe about the nature of how we can best
deal with conflict. Except that she actually does something about it
rather than just going on and on like I do.
Unfortunately I’m hopeless with children and while I wasn’t quite Billy
Bob Thornton in “Bad Santa” I was certainly “Pretty Useless Santa”. I
didn’t know what to say to them, so in the end I resorted to talking to
the kids like we were all in “The Wire.” “Yo what up little man?” I’d
say to some six year old who was goggling at me “...you looking for Santa
to hook you up with a re-up from the main gift stash?” Luckily kids are so
excited at meeting Father Christmas that it didn’t really matter what I
said.
Anyway here’s a photo of Useless Santa for your corporate Christmas Card.
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Reader Comments (16)
Love and Happiness! Swinging round in open hearted hearts! oh the joy, the feeling...Oh sod it!!!!! I'm going out for a fry!
P.S...
You'll be doing panto next.
A Santa from 'The Wire' - Gangster Ghetto Christmas!
You look as if you just slaughtered the reindeer...
'Paris' was my all-time favourite show. It was as if you'd looked into my yearning teenage heart and made yourself a compote.
I thought this was a lovely photo until I spied Alexei clocking the elfs arse!
Mark, thats cracked me up! What a mind you have! On a completely different note, asked peeps on the page what their fave Stuff sketch was, got a really good response. Anyone want to add any? What's your all-time favourite sketch? (most seemed to like the noble art of self-defence)
xx
Yes - I liked the self-defence sketch, I also liked the one with those two dandies who visit the printing press, it gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on - "Door!? a door!?"
I am rubbish with kids too, they are out of my comfort zone I'm sure 'pretty useless Santa' definately sums up what sort of Santa I'd make too. Is there a photo? I can't seem to see one, maybe its my browser...
That was hilarious. Hope you gave out plenty of WMD and Pandemic, y'feel me?
Is this you as well?
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46841000/jpg/_46841265_008359658-1.jpg
Your book... The dog catcher, really is one of the weirdest books I have read in a long time.The Mau Mau Hat, I can relate to that as I am living in the Midlands, Northants at the moment, not far from Lyttleton Strachey, I have probs with the home service, the immoral high ground and all the rest. Barcelona chairs, the dog catcher are both good, the one that I am half way through is the only man that Stalin was ever afraid of, Blooming weird, is there any more short story books on the horizon! Ps, The life of a Russian baker eh, lol
Ps have you ever lived in Holyhead road?
Good, excepting the coming Christmas.
You didn't whistle 'A Hunting We Will Go' like Omar, I'm sure the kids will be just fine.
On Twitter I'm reading that people had a great time seeing you at the Penny Readings 2009. What was that about?
Do you still have that picture Christmas Card with Papa Doc Duvalier ?