Blog No. 31
Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 8:11PM When I was a comedian I would never do stuff about adverts. To perform a routine getting angry about the vapidity and stupidity of some TV commercial seemed lazy and a cheap laugh. Of course TV commercials are stupid and vapid, they’re either trying to sell you something that is exactly the same as a hundred other products or something you don’t need in the first place! So why point it out?
Having stated that I would like to say I am extremely disturbed over what has happened to Mr Muscle. I am a fan of cleaning products and possess an incomparable range of creme cleaners, Cillit Bang, brass polishes and e-cloths. I think it was a year or so ago now when I noticed the change that had come over Mr Muscle. You will recall that the eponymous character featured on the range of cleaning products, Window & Glass Cleaner with Lemon Fresh Anti-Bacterial Action, Multi-Task Kitchen Oven Cleaner etc, that bore his name used to be a weedy fellow, with a thin arms and glasses in some sort of green suit. Now though he is muscled! Recently he has become a kind of muscle bound superhero with dark glasses, chiselled features and glossy hair. In his previous incarnation there was a large degree of irony in Mr Muscle’s appearance since the last thing he was was muscular, now that irony has vanished. There was a quote Russell Brand used twice on some TV doco he did last year "Tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance". ( I tried to find who said it originally so I wouldn’t have to admit I’d got it off Russell Brand but couldn’t after spending at least two minutes on Google) and maybe he is right. Were people emailing the makers of Mr Muscle, SC Johnson claiming they were confused by the weedy man on their Lavender scented furniture polish or have SC Johnson decided not to offer such a level of semantic complexity from the fictional characters on the labels of their cleaning products in order to further the right wing removal of nuance from the public discourse? I think this is more likely.
Also is Toilet Duck going to be next?
In September I’m teaching an Arvon course in short story writing and as a preview at Free Word Farringdon Road on Thursday 18 March I’ll be doing a short reading at a special Arvon Open Evening. http://arvonfoundation.org/p75s350.html
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Reader Comments (31)
Alexei, the basic rule of marketing is that even a winning concept has to be replaced or at least modified after a while. If not, marketeers would become obsolete.
I'm glad to read you don't limit yourself to eco-friendly cleaning products but one question remains...do you just collect or do you actually clean?
I'm with you on this Alexei. We need to stand up to these "changes for changes sake".
I'm now at my wit's end, my favourite margarine has just been repackaged. It will change the whole way that this household functions.
Mind you - I hear that marathon bars might be coming back.
A creative writing' werrrrkshop'?
They baffle me.
Can one learn to be like a Banksy and Graffiti images across the walls of the British imagination? Do i need to bring a hoodie? Or a Chardonnay? I'm so confused.
I had a copy of Das Capital but i sold it for a profit.
Is the shortest story i can come up with
but then
i never had the latin.
1. Mr Muscle. It's kind of like what happened to Carrot Top.
2. I remember Mark Steel saying something like "I'd never appear in an advert. Not out of some high and mighty principle but because you look like a tosser."
3. "And it just says...'Drink Coke'."
Thank god you never sold out and did voice overs.
I am sorry to disagree with your friend Evelyn, but the basic rule of marketing is "here is a career for people with no brains, talent or cosmetic use".
Andre Gide - "Tyranny is the absence of complexity"
@Vicus Scurra, that's what I said, only different. Nothing to do with my background in marketing.
Could I get more details of the Farringdon Road event? I'll post it in the events section.
Takes a lot of time posting and organising bits and pieces and I like to get the details right :) -Avron appears fully booked, so no point updating about that.
Sorry to ask, but is it possible you could E-mail me at all Alexei? Just a quick couple of questions. :)
xx
CAK! just found a link for the Avron/Farringdon event. Should Google better. Will post. But the course you're heading is sold out.
xx
Or even:
"The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt,
Who was later castigated for leaving scurrilous messages about his grand-daughter in Heinrich Heine’s letter box.
Sorry. Me again.
Mobilised a small group to e-mail BBC Worldwide to ask for the release of All New... & Merry Go Round on DVD. Strange reply. Apparently BBC no longers owns the DVD distribution rights, and says it has no idea who does as they're not privy to any 'transaction.' Can anyone clear this up?
xx
Jay, well done for getting that far. I tried to find the correct part of the BBC website where I could forward a request for the same things, but I gave up.
Spent a couple of years in New Zealand where the advertising standards are non-existant:
1. Toilet Duck depicted doing broadsides around the toilet bowl in a rally car, the punchline "No nasty skid-marks"
2. Windscreen repairman chanting "Show us yer crack!"
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